I’m a recovering people pleaser and a perfectionist.
Trying to live up to other people’s expectations and my own unreasonably high standards is exhausting.
I try to keep it in check, but it creeps in.
Lately, it’s meant that I’ve been putting more and more effort and time into YouTube videos.
But it’s not resulted in any more success.
It’s lead me away from what I set out to do in the first place and it’s set me on the road to burnout.
Here’s what I’ve done over the last week to get me back on track.
Check in & root cause
Ask yourself how you’re feeling about what it is you’re trying to do. That could be a project, a work task or a goal you’re working on.
Instead of being excited about making a video I was feeling tired and stressed before I even started. This was a red flag.
I started asking myself Why to get to the root cause of the problem.
Why am I feeling burnt out making videos? Because it takes too long to make them that I haven’t got time for studying, writing a book, or anything else. I’ve even been writing the newsletter on Saturdays!
Why does it take too long to make videos? Because I take hours scripting every word and editing.
Why? Because I’m worried I’ll sound rubbish if I record without a script and people will get bored if I don’t edit much.
Then, the words of Tim Ferris popped into my head.
What would this look like if it were easy?
Tim Ferris
Making goals easier to achieve
Problem + Root Cause + Goal
So now we know the problem and the root cause. Next, we need to get clear on the the goal.
The main goal I set for myself with YouTube this year is to make two videos a week. But that goal doesn’t exist in a vacuum. No goal does.
How does your goal fit in with the other things you’ve got going on? You’re busy and need to maximise your time. Use that as your focus to figure out how to make things easier and sustainable for yourself.
The easier it is, the less time it will take. As a bonus you’ll approach the task with ease and have energy left over because you’re not stressing out over making it perfect.
To make achieving my goal easier I changed these things. See how they can apply for you too.
Adjust your standards
For this next video, I’m going with a lighter touch edit.
I’m also including more personal stories and examples because they are faster and easier for me to create content around.
And I’m going to record without a script, because it’s ok if it’s not perfect.
Remember good enough is good enough.
Set time limits and deadlines
I’ve scheduled in time in my calendar for all the tasks I need to do to get 2 videos out per week and allow space for other the other projects.
It’s sharpened my focus on getting them done at a much faster pace. Because if I don’t then I don’t have time to do the other things I want to do.
Reset expectations with others
These are expectations I’ve set just with myself, but if you’re working with others you can reset their expectations to reduce the pressure on yourself.
Sending this email is like resetting expectations with you guys!
Reframe it with language
Instead of writing a ‘Script’ I’ve called it Talking Points.
Now, I’m creating an outline and not even trying to write a script anymore. It feels so much lighter already.
Treat it as an experiment
I’m going to see how it goes while making this next video. I’ll learn from it, whatever happens.
Be kinder to yourself
I keep reminding myself that I’m trying to do everything on my own and learn a ton of new skills. Learning takes time and a lot of energy so I’m sure people would rather I had fun and made videos in a sustainable way then stop making them completely.
Dealing with the root cause
These tips all helped me with adjusting how to achieve the goal but they don’t deal with the root cause.
“Because I’m worried I’ll sound rubbish if I record without a script and people will get bored if I don’t edit much.”
The techniques you use to deal with your root cause will be different depending on what it is. If it’s like mine and it’s rooted in worrying about what other people might think, then these might help you too!
Develop your skills
Sometimes, your anxiety might genuinely be caused by a lack of competence in the thing you’re trying to do. But you can get better at it.
Since I decided to speak off the cuff, I’ve been watching video podcasters to see how they do it and I’m going to watch some lessons and read some books about public speaking.
But the best way to do it is to practise! Just like anything really.
Face the fear and do it anyway
The main root cause for me is based in fear.
Fear that I’ll sound stupid. Fear that people will be bored.
But I can’t let this fear hold me back anymore. Chances are it will all be fine.
And overtime, I’ll get better at speaking off the cuff and I’ll learn how to keep people engaged without fancy editing.
Who are you tying so hard for?
I kept coming back to this question during the week.
I’m trying for me because I want to do the best job I can. But then I remembered two things:
- Perfect doesn’t exist.
- Do the best job you can in the time allowed.
I’m also trying hard for viewers to make a good video for them. But then I realised:
- I have no idea what they want.
- Everyone likes different things.
So I’m putting in all this effort towards a standard that doesn’t really exist.
Going forwards, I’m going to make videos that are good enough in the time allowed.