This week I published my second video in my new paper style. I’ve already finished the script and started drawings for the next one. I can’t wait to share it with you!
My latest video and the one before feel a lot more ‘me’ than earlier ones. Of course, they are literally more me because I’m drawing, but it’s more than that.
For the first time, I’ve asked people if they have watched it and shared it with some friends.
I actually felt proud.
It got me thinking about authenticity and acting in alignment with our true selves. We hear about it a lot, but how do you know you’re actually doing it?
How can you take steps towards acting more like the real you?
What authenticity feels like
Ever had a time where you’re feeling energized and inspired, but not in a way that feels hyperactive?
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who coined the term flow, described it as:
“A state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter.”
In flow, your inner critic quiets down. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re doing what feels natural, challenging, and deeply you.
So in a way, flow is a window into your authentic self – the version of you not filtered through approval-seeking, fear, or control.
That’s how I’ve been feeling when working on my latest videos.
I get it when I play musical instruments too.
What activities are you doing when you feel like you’re in flow? It can be a huge clue as to what’s authentically you.
Some ideas to get you thinking:
- Drawing or painting
- Writing fiction or poetry
- Coding or building software
- Designing systems, workflows, or websites
- Researching a topic you’re curious about
- Rock climbing or hiking in nature
- Martial arts or yoga
- Playing sports
- Dancing
- Coaching or mentoring someone one-on-one
- Leading a workshop or facilitating a group
- Improv or acting in character
- Cooking a complex recipe from scratch
- Gardening or working with nature
- Building or repairing things
How to know when you aren’t acting authentically
Sometimes we only realize we weren’t being fully ourselves once we finally are.
I’m a big advocate of taking action helping you to get clearer on what you want. This only works if you take action and try different thing too. Like the famous quote (often misattributed to Einstein)
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Different results doesn’t just mean different outcomes, it’s also means different feelings.
After listening to my quiet inner voice and trying a paper based style for my latest two videos, I noticed something subtle but important. When the first one went live, I wanted to share it.
When I made the others, I felt like I was tying to be what I’d built up in my head that ‘YouTuber’ should be. I thought that acting in accordance with that identity would help me take action. And it did.
But it made me take action in ways that didn’t feel like me. Not just because they were new and out of my comfort zone, but because I was imitating other people rather than finding my own way.
Ask yourself these questions to find out if you’re not acting authentically.
Does this version of me feel flat, muted, or overly polished?
Watch out for masking behaviours that hide your true self. Behaviours like:
- Acting more confident or upbeat than you feel
- Avoiding saying what you really think to keep the peace
- Mirroring others instead of expressing your own preferences
- Editing your voice, words, or appearance to match someone else
Do you feel drained after doing the activity, even if it ‘should’ energize you?
If this happens once or twice, this could be because you’re tired! But if it happens every time you do the thing, then there’s something else going on.
Are you waiting for someone else’s reaction before deciding how you feel about it?
If you aren’t following your own compass, you’ll look to others to guide your opinions and feelings.
Would I make different choices if I trusted people would still like me?
Given our tribal ancestry, sometimes we bend ourselves to fit in and be liked. While forgetting, we’re most magnetic when we’re our real selves.
How to know you are acting authentically
I knew I was on the right track, more inline with the real me, when I answered “Yes” to these three questions.
- Would I still do this if no one ever saw it?
If it wasn’t tied to validation or metrics, would I still enjoy the process? - Am I creating from pressure, or from presence?
Am I trying to prove something, or simply express something? - Does this feel easy in the right way – not lazy, not too difficult, but flowing?
Is this effortful but energizing, like I’m being pulled rather than pushed?
Authenticity isn’t about forcing yourself to be different or “more real.” It’s about noticing when you’re not – when you’re holding back, or trying too hard to perform – and gently asking:
What would I do differently if I were fully being myself right now?
Sometimes the answer is subtle: maybe you’d write in a different tone, or share an idea you normally keep quiet. Maybe you’d draw something instead of saying it.
Or maybe you’d just let yourself be a little weirder, a little softer, a little more honest.
This week
This week, try this:
Do one thing the way you would do it – not the way you think it’s “supposed” to be done.
Here are a few ideas to get you thinking:
- Dress in a way that feels more like you.
- Let your natural rhythm guide your day instead of forcing productivity.
- Take a creative risk: try the idea that feels exciting but a little scary.
- Share the real reason why something mattered to you.
- Post something without over-editing the caption.
I hope you end this week feeling even more like yourself.
Emily xx
A video I’m proud to share
My second video in my new style that feels more like me 🙂
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