It takes bravery and vulnerability to start again. Whether you’re starting a new job, relocating, or entering a new phase of your life.
I recently decided to stop work on my music YouTube channel project. With a limited amount of business savings (and therefore time) to get the next business off the ground, it’s all go.
And with change, comes new challenges.
Here are 4 internal challenges I’m currently dealing with, along with the personal pep talk I’m giving myself for each one.
1. Second guessing
Pretty much every day, I’m wondering if I’ve made the right choice. “You’ve always wanted to learn how to release music, this is your one chance to do it.”
But that’s not true at all. I can still release music and play with other people, but keep it as a hobby.
Beware the devil on your shoulder trying to lure you back to the good old times. All that’s happening is your mind is trying to protect you from the discomfort of change and the additional effort required to start over.
PEP TALK
Reassure yourself of your thinking. Repeat the same activities you did or revisit your journal entries that led you to make this decision in the first place. You know what’s right for you.
2. Feeling like a failure
“Never give up.” “Don’t quit.” “Stay the course.”
These motivational phrases have their place, but it’s not healthy to persist with something that’s not right for you. Even so, I feel like a quitter and a failure for not sticking with my project.
I’m pleased I’m aware of the sunk cost fallacy.
When you keep putting time, money, or effort into something, even when it’s clear it’s not worth it, just because you’ve already invested so much. You’re emotionally tied to what’s already been spent (the sunk costs), leading to choices that don’t really make sense.
The smart move is to focus on what you can gain moving forward, not what you’ve already lost.
PEP TALK
You’re not a quitter, you’re a starter. It’s much better to acknowledge that something isn’t right now and move on before you invest even more time and energy into it.
3. Wasted time
6 months I invested into my YouTube channel. Everyday I was scripting, filming, editing, branding and all the other jobs that come with being a solopreneur (i.e. all of them).
Yet now I’m abandoning it.
All I keep thinking is, “You wasted 6 months. Think about how much further along you’d be if you’d just started this project instead.”
PEP TALK
You have learnt so much from this experience. You can take all that learning with you into the next phase of your life. There’s no point thinking about the should’ve, would’ve could’ve. What matters is moving forward from where you are now.
4. What will people think?
When there’s a big change in your life, it’s easy to think that everyone else cares about what you’re doing and you worry whether they will think it’s a good idea or not.
It’s called the spotlight effect. People think the spotlight is on them like on a stage, but in reality people are too busy with their own lives to really care.
In all likelihood, the only people who will care will be your closest friends and family. Some of them might have raised some concerns with you in a way that feels unsupportive. Saying all the things that your inner voice has been saying.
“Why can’t you just stay where you are. It’s risky what you’re doing. What if you don’t like it?”
They are just worried for you and are trying to show they care. It doesn’t mean they don’t support you.
PEP TALK
In the words of Dr Suess, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Key takeaway
Starting over with anything is a change. And change is hard.
So long as you are acting in line with your values and taking your life in the direction you want everyday, then you’ll find the courage and grit to overcome these things.