This week’s email is going to be short and slightly sleep-deprived. On Sunday evening we got back from three and a half days at the UK Games Expo. It’s a whirlwind of board games, friends, laughter, sore feet, and overpriced food. I loved indulging in one of my favourite hobbies for a full weekend.
But we didn’t exactly ease back into real life. On Monday, we jumped straight into getting the house ready for sale. Decluttering, lifting, shifting, sorting, cleaning, rearranging furniture, and making the whole place “look like no one actually lives here” for the estate agent’s photos.
And now? I’m exhausted (and there’s still more to do before Monday’s photo shoot!)
What’s interesting, though, is that both of these things – the games expo and preparing the house – are things I wanted to do. I wasn’t forcing myself through something I hated. One was self-indulgent fun, the other, a purposeful step toward a life change I care deeply about.
And yet… I’m still completely wiped out.
So this week, while cleaning my office window I was thinking about the different types of tired.
Because not all tiredness is the same. And not all tiredness means something’s wrong.
Not all tired is burnout
When we say we’re tired, the assumption is often that we’ve been pushing too hard, doing too much, or ignoring our limits. That may be true sometimes… but other times, tiredness is simply the cost of engaging deeply with life.
This week I’ve felt:
- Socially tired, from being “on” all weekend in a big convention centre full of thousands of people, even though I loved it.
- Decision-fatigued, from playing loads of games and deciding what to keep and what to sell or donate while decluttering.
- Emotionally tired, from parting with possessions and confronting the change that moving house will bring – even though I want that change.
- Physically tired, from walking, lifting, and not sleeping properly or for long enough.
The science of tired
If we zoom out for a second, there are actually different types of fatigue studied in psychology and neuroscience – and they don’t always overlap.
Cognitive fatigue happens when your brain is overloaded with too many inputs or decisions. This is one reason multitasking or shifting between tasks all day can feel exhausting, even if nothing physically demanding is happening. (I definitely felt this one during both the expo and the decluttering.)
There’s also emotional fatigue, which can come from navigating transitions, managing expectations, or even processing excitement and joy. Our nervous systems don’t distinguish between “positive” and “negative” stimulation all that well.
Then there’s ego depletion (a debated but interesting idea), which suggests that tasks involving willpower or self-regulation slowly drain a shared mental resource. If you’ve ever felt like making one more decision might make you cry, that’s this.
Finally, physical tiredness is the one we’re most familiar with – but it doesn’t always match up with the others. You can be mentally and emotionally exhausted while your body feels fine. Or you can collapse into bed feeling physically wrecked without any sense of stress or burnout.
Why this matters
I think we get into trouble when we try to treat all forms of tiredness the same way.
Sometimes we try to push through, assuming that because we chose the activity, it shouldn’t be tiring. (“But I wanted to see people / go to the expo / sell this house!”)
Other times, we think we’re burnt out, when actually we just need a nap, a snack, or a moment alone in a quiet room.
And worst of all, we sometimes blame ourselves for being tired – as if it’s a sign of weakness or misalignment. As if living fully should never come with a cost.
But what if tiredness is simply part of the rhythm of doing things that matter?
What if we expected to need rest after joyful events just as much as after stressful ones?
A gentle reminder
So if you’ve been feeling tired lately – even from the good stuff – you’re not broken.
You don’t need to justify your rest with suffering first. You don’t have to be productive in order to earn recovery. You’re allowed to feel stretched thin even when your life is heading in the direction you want.
This week, I’m reminding myself that tiredness is not a moral failing.
It’s just a message: “You’ve used some of your energy. Would you like to recharge?”
I think I will.
Thanks for reading,
Emily xx