There’s no roadmap for life. And yet we spend a lot of time seeking the answers. Looking for the quick fixes and someone to show us the way.
There is a major problem with this.
If we both put directions into a sat nav, we’d get completely different maps even if we’re heading to the same place. Because we’re starting in different places.
Plus we’re often heading to different places, or perhaps don’t even know where we want to go…
It’s easy to see why even when we follow a path that someone has laid out for us, we don’t actually end up where we want to be.
The solution? Make your own map.
Making a map
Like any good project plan, starting with the end in mind and planning towards it is a tried and tested strategy.
If you know where you want to go then crack on with planning. But what if you don’t know?
If you’re feeling lost in life in general, then there are three activities that I always find helpful as a starting point.
1 – What matters to you?
I always start with the Values Affirmation Activity to see what matters to me the most.
It’s really simple to do and usually doesn’t take that long to complete.
You start with a list of values, usually 100-200. Then:
- Choose 15 – 20 values that resonate the most with you
- Narrow it down to your top 10
- Choose your top 5
- Select your top 3
Optional:
- Choose 1 core value that matters the most to you.
Then you have a guiding light to help you with all the other decisions you’re making.
If one of your values is creativity, yet there are no creative outlets in your work or personal life, then it can prompt some changes that will help you feel more fulfilled.
2 – Sliding Doors
Have you seen the film Sliding Doors? It follows the story of a female protagonist and shows two parallel timelines of her life and how the decisions she makes effects what happens.
The next activity is like a fun version of that where you get to imagine your life going in different directions. In the book Designing Your Life, it’s called the Odyssey Plan. It’s like future forecasting in business.
You write down 3 potential futures for where you will be in 5 years time. Write down key points at each year and how you will get there. e.g. study a course part-time, get married, change jobs.
Where would you be if:
- Your current plan for your life.
- Plan 1 can’t happen.
- Money and time were no object?
You can of course, change these plans to be based on whatever criteria you want. Or do extra plans if you like. For example where would you be if:
- You started the business you’ve been thinking about?
- You had a career change.
- You moved to another country.
After writing a bunch of these different potential futures you may find yourself getting a bit clearer on the kind of direction you want to head in.
Refer back to your values and see if the ones you like more are aligned with them.
3 – Day to day
While the Odyssey Plan is helpful for the bigger picture ideas, it’s best used in conjunction with another activity.
When you’ve found a path that appeals to you and you’ve mapped out the how to get there, it’s time to think about what that means on a day-to-day basis.
5 years goes by quite quickly. But that 1826 days might feel like a lifetime if the things you’re actually doing everyday are stressful, tiring or boring.
If you’ve said that you want to study a qualification for example, and you’re working full time, that’s going to mean lots of study and writing after work. Or you drop to part time and reduce your pay, or you save up, quit your job and study full time. All of these will effect your everyday differently.
If you’re saving to pay for the course fees that will effect how much money you have to do other things in your plan, like paying for a wedding, for example.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about raining on your parade! It’s about being practical and really thinking about the whole picture of how each of these plans will effect your time, money, health, relationships etc.
The main takeaways
The best map you can follow is one you make yourself.
- Define your values
- Plan your ideal future
- Picture the day to day in detail
Use all of these to adjust and come up with a plan that’s aligned with who you are, what you want but is also realistic.