This week, I found a photo on my old computer that I hadn’t seen in years.
It’s me, sitting at a desk in the dark, hunched over my computer. It was 9.47pm and I was working late in a business I’d co-founded with a friend.
The lights were motion activated and because neither of us had moved for so long, the lights turned off. The only light is coming from my monitor. Lighting up the tired expression on my face as I rest my head in my hand.
I remember feeling fed up, brittle, and strangely guilty that I wasn’t more excited about what we were building.
At the time, I thought the problem was me.
- That I wasn’t working hard enough.
- That I should have been grateful to finally be building a business like I’d always wanted.
- That I wasn’t cut out to to be an business owner.
But now I look at that photo, and I see something different.
That version of me wasn’t unmotivated – she was misaligned. The path I was on, one that I’d created for myself, was completely wrong for me.
The invisible drain
We often assume that if we’re feeling unmotivated, burned out, or unfocused, it means something is wrong with us. But sometimes the problem isn’t internal at all.
Sometimes, the problem is the environment.
The people around us.
The physical space we’re in.
The culture of the workplace.
The goals we’re working toward (that maybe weren’t even ours to begin with).
In that business, I had structure, a clear mission, shared responsibility… everything you’re “supposed” to have.
But I also had to do every role in the company – selling, doing the actual work as well as all the operational stuff that comes with running a business. And a direction that didn’t quite feel like me.
You’re not broken – you’re reacting, appropriately
When a plant doesn’t thrive, we don’t blame the plant – we check the soil, the light, the water.
We should do the same for ourselves.
Now, when I feel drained or unmotivated, I ask myself:
- What part of this environment feels constricting?
- Do I feel like I can be fully me here?
- What kind of work makes me lose track of time – and is this that?
Sometimes it’s not a mindset problem. It’s a mismatch.
What helps me now
These days, I design my work with a different filter. I look for:
- Energy – Do I feel alive while I’m doing it?
- Expression – Can I bring my whole voice, not just perform a role?
- Environment – Does this space (digital or physical) support my focus, flow, and values?
This applies to work but also to relationships, side projects, even habits.
When I feel off, I now ask:
“What about this setup is working against me?”
The answers are usually quiet – but clear.
If you’re feeling stuck
Try journaling or thinking about these questions for a moment.
- Where do I feel most like myself right now?
- What kind of work (or play) energizes me – even when it’s hard?
- What might I need to let go of, to create better alignment?
And above all: give yourself permission to question everything. Even the things that used to work for you.
Question the things that you tell yourself that you want. Status. Money. Promotions.
Sometimes we outgrow the things we want, but we don’t realise until we let ourselves question if they still feel meaningful and energizing to us.
Emily xx